When it’s done, it’s done.

Don’t give me that look of “She has no idea what she’s talking about”, because you know exactly how awfully right this statement is.

Recently I realized that I’m repeating the same mistake over and over again. The worst thing is not the mistake itself, but the fact that I realize it’s a mistake even while I’m doing it. What’s my mistake? – Tolerate and be patient beyong reasonable limits, which means - be too scared to make decisions.

Are you able to take a prompt/timely decision when it comes to feelings? Are you able to cut someone out of your life (personal or professional) just because they are not who you wished them to be? I don’t know about you, but my answer, would be – Unfortunately, no.

It’s really unfortunate, because at the end of the day they will come saying “I didn’t ask you to make compromises.” And they will be right, so before you stab them in the heart – stop, breathe and read the “Nothing personal” post. :-P

Ok, now we settled – no stabbing or shouting and let alone crying. But how do you handle the situation? How do you feel about yourself, knowing that you have made the wrong choice?

Well, wise people say you should forgive yourself. Forgive yourself the fact that you feel bad about this situation in the first place. I say, focus on the positive experiences you had with that person and look forward to meeting someone else – more interesting and appropriate for you or being free again! Both options are much better than fooling yourself about someone else’s qualities.

The next advice is to let that person go. But don’t just let them go, before you do that – forgive them. Forgive them for not treating you as you wanted to be treated, forgive them for not being the person you wanted them to be. Forgive them and let them free.

Louise Hay says that all the illnesses come from not being able to forgive. So don’t opt for carrying that burden. After all, it is you who are suffering – be kind to yourself and do what’s best for you – forgive.

There are a number of cute quotes about people from your past or the thoughts that shape your future, but I will say that whatever is happening or not – is for your own good and you better trust me on this one.

So, now that all the emotional turmoil is in the past, you’ve added a brand new, enriching experience that has made you stronger, wiser and.. yeah, why not – a little bit more confident in your own strength to handle even the stinky situations!

Way to go, my dear!

Nothing personal

One of the most useful thoughts for you in those moments when anger or sadness are growing up inside of you and are ready to burst out, just right before you act, stop, breath and think -  “nothing personal”.

If someone has disappointed you, offended you or lied to you – “nothing personal”. They did it because they are not the people you think they are and they must have had some pretty good reasons to do it, most of them are directly related to their well-being and beliefs of “what’s right”. So, don’t blame them and for your own sake – don’t blame yourself! It’s nothing personal. They didn’t do it because you are you. People act solely guided by their own interests, needs and understanding.

“Nothing personal, just business” and D. Miguel Ruiz’ second agreement “Never take anything personally. What other people say is about them, not you.” tell you almost all you need to know in order to avoid getting angry or hurt by other people’s words.

I’m aware that knowing is important, but applying it’s quite a different story.

So, let me give you a practical example of how this principle will work on a daily basis.

For girls, this thought can be useful, either when we get complimented or offended.

Imagine that someone comes and tells you “You are beautiful!”. It doesn’t mean that you suddenly became beautiful; it means that for the person who says it – you look beautiful. On the other hand, if someone approaches you and tells you “You are ugly!”, similarly, it doesn’t mean that you are ugly; it expresses only that person’s opinion on your looks. Either ways, you can't allow this person's point of view to deteriorate or improve the way you perceive your own appearance and let alone have their words destroy your self-esteem.

A dear friend of mine has always wondered how come an ex-girlfriend of his used to accuse him of lowering her self-esteem and he asks “How can I lower her self-esteem?! It is self-esteem after all, right?”.

The thing is, nobody should be able to tell you what to think or belief about yourself. It is you, who know yourself the best and it is you, who should love yourself the most.

Don’t try to make assumptions on people because they might be wrong and lead you to disappointment and false expectations. I will write about “making assumptions” soon, but until then, try to get used to the idea of “nothing personal” and practice!

Good news!

Good morning, dear reader!

I have some wonderful news for you, today is the day of Happiness!

According to astrologers today is the happiest day of the first decade of the 21^st century – the tenth day of the tenth month of the tenth year of the century.

Number 10 is considered to symbolize the higher harmony and revelation of the Divine Law in the material world. Ten implies completeness of order, nothing lacking and nothing over. It signifies that the cycle is complete and that everything is in its proper order. Thus ten represents the perfection of divine order.

If you are not so much into the “divine” then you will probably prefer this:

“At the Mayas, it represents the end of a cycle and the beginning of another. The ten was regarded as being the number of the life and the death.”

What I’m trying to say is that today you have one more reason to feel happy! The next happy days will be 11.11.2011 and 12.12.2012, afterwards the next happy day, as happy as these three, will be on the 01.01.3001!

I almost forgot, on top of all those tens, astrologers gave Capricorns the 10^th house! Yes, I’m a Capricorn girl!

Enjoy this day in your unique and special way and remember that today a cycle is over and tomorrow a new one starts! What this new cycle will be is a question only you can answer. What will tomorrow bring?

I hope it will bring smiles, prosperity, health, peace, happiness and fulfillment!

The powerful you

Some were born for greatness, some were born talented, some were born geniuses who will make the most formidable discoveries that mankind ever has, some were born to be leaders, some – spiritual teachers, what about us?

I don’t want to be in the spotlight, I’m just not that kind of a person. I like to be there when the decision is being made and I appreciate it when my opinion is heard and taken into account, but I don’t want to be the “star”, at least not at work. There are plenty of other areas where I would love to shine, but the most important of them are the hearts of the people I love and care about.

The best things we will ever get in this life are given to us for free! Let’s start with life itself. It is completely out of charge. What about our health, the love of our relatives, the love of our friends, the feelings of gratitude and happiness, the feeling of being loved and cherished, the way we feel when we know we count on the unconditional love of our parents. I bet that just by reading these lines, you already feel grateful for all the things you’ve got!

The question is why don’t we think more about this and less about the things we buy with money? Which one of the things you will ever be able to buy is going to be more valuable to you than the things that you’ve got for free?

Ever since I was a little girl, I felt compassion; compassion for an ill, confused, worried, depressed person, a lost puppy, a hurt animal, etc. My parents even joke about it, saying that I feel compassion for everybody. Lately, this compassion has led me to the realization of the fact that each and every one of us suffers from a severe scarcity of reassurance! Yes, you read right – reassurance!

I’m not going to talk right now about all the complexes and traumas we all have received at some point of our lives. But we have to acknowledge one truth – all those fears hold us back! They hold us back from doing or saying or even thinking or feeling what we really want to. Isn’t this scary?

One word or one gesture of reassurance can change someone’s life and help them believe in themselves. I’m talking about one word from you and one of your gestures. You can be the one person, who will make a huge difference in someone’s life. Doesn’t this make you feel powerful? You are a powerful person, because you can motivate other people to chase after their dreams and even dare to dream in the first place.  

So, let’s not try to label and fit ourselves in one of those categories – talent, greatness, etc. You are a powerful being that makes a big difference in the world!

Come on, go out there and show the world your art – the power to make someone happy today! Stop for a while to admire your work and praise yourself, because you were the only one who could do this! You, dear reader, are a great human being and a creator of many happy smiles!

Dreamers don’t discriminate against their own dreams

 “Happiness lies in the simple joys of life.” I bet you’ve heard this statement if not thousands, then at least hundreds of times. Today I actually realized for a millionth time how true this is.

I’ve had a dream for the last three years and today it came true! I’m excited and happy and I’ve been carrying this huge smile on my face the whole day. I’m a happy girl!

Do you recall the last time you felt like this? It was that time when you were glowing with happiness and even pride, because you had achieved something, you’d wanted for so long! Your eyes were sparkling and you couldn’t stop smiling, people suddenly became friendlier, the rain and the clouds reminded you of romance and hot chocolate, instead of getting wet and cold, the world suddenly seemed beautiful and you felt that you were in the right place! It was one of those rare moments when you felt everything was right and you knew that everything was going to be right – forever!

This feeling gives you courage to do things, to say things, led only by happiness, gratitude and love! Gratitude – for your wish has become reality! Love – because we love when we are happy! Have you noticed that when you feel this good and you act, everything you do becomes a success? It’s a success, because you do it right – you do it with love in your heart and you do it with courage! This is enough to make you act as though it was impossible to fail.

This is how I feel today!

You know, objectively talking, it took me 30 minutes and 5 EUR to make my dream come true, so why did i wait for so long? I have no idea why! I was always too busy with “more important things”, I guess.

I’ve learnt two lessons today:

-         Dreams don’t have sizes and every dream is as important as any other, coz it doesn’t matter how insignificant or huge it may seem, it will make the dreamer truly happy once it comes true!

-         Dreams always become a reality! Don’t ever doubt that!

Sometimes you need to act on the spot!

The first month of the relationship, they say, is the time when two people set the rules of the game between them. If you miss that moment, afterwards it will be way too hard to set new rules that will last. And it’s not only about the shares of housework each one of the two gets; it’s also about a more general attitude to be adopted in the couple.

Don’t make compromises with yourself. If you are going to compromise, only to feel bad about it, then – don’t! The reason you are together is because you feel good with each other, don’t let that change.

A friend of mine, with almost 30 years of experience in marriage, told me once “If, because of him, you are asking yourself whether you should stop doing/saying/thinking something, then that’s not your man. He must love you for who you are, not for who you become when you are pretending.”

On the other hand, pretending is a sort of an insult to the intelligence of your partner. Why do you think they won’t notice? Why do you think they would want to be fooled? Why do you think they deserve to be deceived? How would you feel if you find out that they were pretending, too?

Don’t get me wrong, a hint of mystery is quite charming, but it has nothing to do with the lack of honesty in the couple.

Be brave and act on the spot! Nobody is going to do it for you.

Let me tell you this, I’m a great cook!

I can’t stop surprising myself. Yesterday, I prepared some seafood with vegetables and then some rice. Let me tell you something else important – seafood just loves chilled white wine! They get along so well together!

It was in the 2002 when I first started working with Spaniards.

In the beginning was “cultura de la comida” or “culture of food”. Yeah, it sounds really strange, especially on working days, when we normally have 30-45 minutes for lunch, but not in Spain. This wonderful, exotic and yet so traditional country actually treats food with the respect it deserves.

There are a lot of jokes, like:

-          Who is the fastest person on Earth?

-          The Spanish civil servant. Because they leave work at 15:00 and at 14:00 they are already having lunch at home.

No, don’t pay attention to the hint of laziness, pay attention to the food!

In Bulgaria there’s another joke:

-          The party in Spain ends when the food is over.

-          The party in Bulgaria ends when the alcohol is over.

All my life, I thought that grabbing something fast for lunch and going back to work so I can finish earlier, is by far the best that I can do. The thing is that this is not good for my health and if it’s not good for me, it can’t be good for my employer. So, think twice, before you go and shamelessly harm your employer’s interests by munching a sandwich during your lunch-break.

Time went on and “cultura de la comida” found a new fan – me! As our relationship developed, I gradually started discovering new wonders of the Spanish culinary art. Nevertheless, there it went again and surprised me with “tapas”!

Ask an Englishman if he gets the tapas! No way. A friend of mine, after visiting a Spanish restaurant and having tapas and drinks the whole evening, concluded that a Chinese restaurant would have been much better. Not because he didn’t like the tapas, but when you get served 15 plates with 1 spoon of food in them, at the end you can’t be certain whether you actually had dinner or not. Yeah, in this aspect, I have to admit - Chinese restaurants don’t let you doubt. You know, oh, you know so well!

Tapas are something additional that you get when you ask for a drink. The variety is endless! It can be from a little plate with green olives, to a bowl of soup and a slice of bread with cheese or ham.

Anyways, food is something that should be enjoyed! It’s not just filling your stomach, it fills your senses, it provokes your imagination, it can bring up memories from your past (let’s hope that good ones), it accompanies you in the most happy moments with your loved ones and above all, food can be your best medicine.